Short, nerdy, artistic Mom. Whoovian. Hufflepuff. I draw stuff, mostly World of Warcraft (I don't play anymore, but love the lore), Pokemon (I definitely still play this) and comic characters. I like role playing games and being with my family.
We babywear, breastfeed, cosleep, cobathe, and are anti-RIC and anti-spanking. Most of my posts will be comics, tabletop RPGs, nerdy stuff, art, Harry Potter, Doctor Who, World of Warcraft, rape culture, feminism, gender and non gender equality, equal marriage, and thigs about living mental illnesses and domestic abuse. I will occasionally post about parenting stuff, and I will not tag breastfeeding pictures as nudity or nsfw, just a warning. If you do need me to tag something triggering, just ask! I try to tag my stuff, but I miss some things and sometimes mobile doesn't post them. My askbox is open.
I’ll never punish my daughter for saying no.
The first time it comes out of her mouth, I’ll smile gleefully. As she repeats “No! No! No!” I’ll laugh, overjoyed. At a young age, she’ll have mastered a wonderful skill. A skill I’m still trying to learn. I know I’ll have to teach her that she has to eat her vegetables, and she has to take a nap. But “No” is not wrong. It is not disobedience.
1. She will know her feelings are valid.
2. She will know that when I no longer guide her, she still has a right to refuse.
The first time a boy pulls her hair after she says no, and the teacher tells her “boys will be boys,” we will go to her together, and explain that my daughter’s body is not a public amenity. That boy isn’t teasing her because he likes her, he is harassing her because it is allowed. I will not reinforce that opinion. If my son can understand that “no means no” so can everyone else’s.
3. She owes no one her silence, her time, or her cooperation.
The first time she tells a teacher, “No, that is wrong,” and proceeds to correct his public school, biased rhetoric, I’ll revel in the fact that she knows her history; that she knows our history. The first time she tells me “No” with the purpose and authority that each adult is entitled, I will stop. I will apologize. I will listen.
4. She is entitled to her feelings and her space. I, even a a parent, have no right to violate them.
5. No one has a right to violate them.
The first time my mother questions why I won’t make her kiss my great aunt at Christmas, I’ll explain that her space isn’t mine to control. That she gains nothing but self doubt when she is forced into unwanted affection. I’ll explain that “no” is a complete sentence. When the rest of my family questions why she is not made to wear a dress to our reunion dinner. I will explain that her expression is her own. It provides no growth to force her into unnecessary and unwanted situation.
6. She is entitled to her expression.
When my daughter leaves my home, and learns that the world is not as open, caring, and supportive as her mother, she will be prepared. She will know that she can return if she wishes, that the real world can wait. She will not want to. She will not need to. I will have prepared her, as much as I can, for a world that will try to push her down at every turn.
7. She is her own person. She is complete as she is.
I will never punish my daughter for saying no. I want “No” to be a familiar friend. I never want her to feel that she cannot say it. She will know how to call on “No” whenever it is needed, or wanted.
Can we please stop making fun of people who are over 20 and are still virgins
Can we please stop making fun of people who are not interested in sex/are repulsed by sex
Can we please stop making fun of people who aren’t interested in a sexual or romantic relationship
Oh so much has been going on. With my Brother coming home and my full time responsibilities for my 11mo, a week feels like a month and a half and a day feels like a week.
I’m really looking forward to reading my newest novel purchases. They are gentle parenting guidelines by L.R.Knost, and she always has amazing reviews and her quotes are so hard hitting. I will only be able to read them while my baby is sleep-nursing, but I’m a very fast reader, and it will be a nice change to reading on my tablet.
I really hope I can convince my Mother-in-Law and Husband to give them a gander. The Husband is on board with at least trying gentle parenting, but the MIL is unconvinced and she tends to try to sway his opinion if hers differs, especially from mine. Thankfully, my Husband trusts my instincts and experiences with our baby and generally lets me make the parenting decisions, and he is open to discussion about it if he is opposed to anything.
Went for a long walk with my Brother (just home from mental health facility, see previous personal post), partly because he needs to get outside and exercise for his mental health, partly because I need general exercise and to get out more, and mostly because we are spending more time together. We went to the local gaming store and bought a Palladium Fantasy sourcebook (The Wolven Empire) which he helped me pick out because he’s been wanting to play more Rifts. The walk back got difficult, as the baby had been awake for an hour before we left and our walk to the store lasted around an hour. She got grumpy, but wouldn’t let me put her in the stroller afrer she fell asleep nursing. In order to nurse her without the sun in her face I had to hold her sideways (like lifting something with your arms) and carry her (the ring sling was useless to help in this position) for a mile and a half.
MY ARMS ARE NOODLES. LIMP NOODLES.
Brother and I talked about a lot of stuff, like how he’s worried about high school because of his depression and sensitive mental state, and how he wasn’t aware our Mom had been really good at playing Magic the Gathering, and how much we loved The Beatles, and commenting on pretty houses and yards.
I haven’t had any time for writing up characters or doing other things like watching movies or playing games, really, unless I’m doing it with him and the baby. Maybe I’ll get his help writing up some special Toon Tuesday posts. We’re going to start having family game night and just doing more things together in general. I still don’t know when I’ll have the energy and time to dedicate to flipping between multiple sourcebooks and my tablet, rolling dice and scribbling bonuses in the margin.
So much more going on, too. The Upnorths (family) have been getting all over our cases about decisions regarding my Brother and his care. He wanted to tell them himself about his condition, but didn’t get the chance to before he was institutionalized, so they were upset that we didn’t tell them from the start. I’m not sorry for that decision, it is his illness and frankly none of their business if he doesn’t want it to bem I don’t care if he’s “only 15”. I understand that they love him, but they don’t seem to get that letting him have control over who knows is a very important part of his recovery.
Trying to get the house in order. Baby is afraid of vacuums and brooms. Thankfully my Husband is awesome and has been shouldering many of the neglected chores.
I haven’t drawn in a year. Wow. That is a looong time. I’m sure I can get back up to my regular speed in no time. But the problem lies in having no time.
Trying to find personal outlets that are also not time or energy consuming is hard. Though not impossible. Sometimes I manage to play Skyrim for a few nurse naps, and beating up bad guys always helps. I also love spending time with my family. My baby has started raspberrying my skin (which seems to mean less biting, too!) She can also roll a ball to me so we can play “catch”, which is just great.
Just a lot going on lately. But it’s looking up.