So, every once in awhile some raging “activist” sticks their shit covered nose where it really shouldn’t be. This anon was sent to one of my best friends. And I’m sorry, but no. Do you even go here?
Yes, someone who despised the inconvenience of pumping literally ‘round the clock is totally self absorbed. Do you realize how much that takes out of you? Mentally, physically, and emotionally? Do you know how much you beat yourself down for not being able to do something as simple and ~ natural~ as feed your child? How you cry each time they scream out from hunger and frustration, and you dutifully plug in and listen to the droning *swoosh shh* *swoosh shh*. Each cycle driving it further home that you have failed your child? That you’re failing your other child by tearing yourself down mentally and taking yourself away physically. Even though literally none of it is your fault. You are not to blame in the least for some pretty major oral issues they have.
Do you even lift, bro? You try to take care of a high needs newborn, still trying to figure out why the fuck your kid can’t eat and is nearly fucking starving along with attempting to wrangle a super active toddler. Completely alone. And not break down. And don’t you dare ask for help, because that’d be self absorbed and shit. Oh and don’t you dare slip into PPD either, because chances are you’ll feel even more guilty for taking meds to help you function. If you even seek treatment. For some bullshit reason our society puts a big scarlet letter on those who decide to seek help. And FSM forbid you take any meds, those will go into your bloodstream and milk. To your child. Look! ~yer poizonen yer crotch fruit~ #badmom2k4evr
Then if you put your kid on formula, you’re tha debil. I fucking hate formula, I will admit it, but that doesn’t mean that it isn’t necessary sometimes. Like a lot of other nutritional supplements, it has its time and place. Well, when a kid can’t drink from a tit and pumping is doing more harm than good when it comes to the quality of care said child is getting (along with other family members), I’m gonna deem it necessary. Sure, donor milk is an option for some. If you’re going through a milk bank, it’s fucking expensive. If you’re doing mom to mom, it can be less expensive, but still involves a lot of work. Time, effort, and a fair bit of emotional turmoil, because you’re reminded you’re not enough for your kid. Not everyone is comfortable with donor milk, and I don’t blame them. It’s also pretty damn hard to come by, even in high population area. There’s a whole lot of demand, with very limited supply. Also some people are choosy (read: cunts) with who they donate to for the dumbest reasons. Oh, well ~this baby diagnosed with XYZ deserves it more than thaaaat baby whose mom just wants them on BM and not formula~. Nah, don’t play that card. First come, first serve. No one child deserves it more than another. I’ll admit, I’m choosy because I’d rather donate to someone local, as there’s next to no offers in my area and a lot of the people asking can’t afford to drive a 6hr round trip for a week of milk, if that. Luckily I haven’t run into an issue like that in awhile because I found a long term person here in town and I’m happy knowing I’m helping her both financially and emotionally. Her son can’t tolerate formula. You can’t tell that by looking at him. He doesn’t have any conditions, and he doesn’t have to to be deserving of an extra boost in addition to what mom can give him. (Okay, went on a tangent, I apologize. More of that in my 1 year anniversary of pumping post in a few weeks).
Wanna know how her kids drank from a bottle? A month+ search and a ton of money down the drain to find one their mouths would even tolerate. Limited tongue and lip movement seriously fucks feeding up, okay? She tried every alternate route before resorting to bottles. LCs, shields, sleepy feeding, and even an attempt at tie correction. The dumbasses she’s been referred to brushed her off multiple times for the corrections because, the usual, oh she’s gaiiiining weight sheeeee’s fiiiiine. Who cares if at a year old she’s now able to tolerate newborn sized nipples. Who cares that she can’t eat solids, even in an almost liquid state. Who cares about the major dental impact they’re setting her up for. Speech impediments, gum issues, nutrition issues, premature tooth decay. She’s gaining weight, so everything is obvs fine there. Even after falling and partially splitting her top tie, they still wouldn’t cut. Bullshit. Bullshit on it all.
She’s damn lucky her parents were smart enough and SELFLESS enough to admit what they were doing wasn’t working and switched to bottles. Unless mom has a generous supply and the baby is able to form a latch that transfers milk, most tie babies lose weight because they’re burning more calories trying to eat than what they’re getting from the meager amount of milk they can transfer. That’s why a lot of new parents who aren’t informed about ties or have doctors who brush it off can’t understand why they’re losing when all they do is eat.
So you know what, her answer to your first bullshit message was fully valid. It is how she feels. It is how it is. BethAnne was able to put her pride aside for the sake of her health, her children’s health, and everyone in that household’s general well being and sanity. She was so determined to “get it right” this time, when she did nothing wrong either time.
Honestly I hope you never know the pain and emotional turmoil this whole ordeal has put her through. Glob forbid you ever have a severe tie child with nobody giving you the support needed. Or, if you do, I sincerely hope you choose your child’s health instead of clutching onto your pride like it’s made of gold.
So, to BethAnne, one of the most selfless, loving, caring, badass individuals I have ever had the pleasure of forming a fucking life long friendship with: FOUR for you, Glenn Coco! You go, Glenn Coco.
And to the bullshit, wannabe “activist”, cunt: And none for Gretchen Wieners, bye.